For our January Adoptive Parents Group meeting in Calgary, we gathered to discuss the topic, “How Our Lives Changed After We became Parents”. It proved to be a fun and revealing meeting! Here are some of the highlights:
- My spouse and I reverted to how we were raised. Despite having had many conversations about how we would parent similarly, as a team, when the time came, we discovered we had very different parenting styles. The need for clear, open communication is so important!
- My maternal instincts kicked in as soon as I saw my child. “Mama Bear” comes alive whether you parent a child through birth or adoption.
- My children have a way of pushing my buttons and bringing out frustration in me that I never knew was possible. This brought a whole new meaning to the word “Patience”!
- I put a lot of pressure on myself to be the perfect parent. Many adoptive parents feel the need to be “Super Parents” because they know they have had their child bestowed upon them by their child’s birthmother, and because the adoptive agency has approved them.
- I became anxious, felt lonely, and/or missed my job once I was parenting. Post Placement Depression is real, and very similar in nature to Post Partum Depression!
- Kids are expensive! Finances become a major source of conflict when you are parenting if you have not already financially established yourselves prior to parenting.
I hope you can join us for our meeting in February, when adoptive parents and birthparents join together to ask/answer questions, and share stories about their open adoption experience.
Chantelle Beach BSW, RSW
Chantelle is a social worker in our Calgary office, and is very passionate about adoption from both a professional and a personal perspective. She is the mother of three children each of whom joined her family through open adoption.