A child born to another woman calls me mama. The beauty and the tragedy of that are not lost on me, and I reflect on it often. November is Adoption Awareness month so I thought I’d share a few of these thoughts to help shed light on the this loving option. If any of you reading this have questions I am more than happy to talk about my experience, so please feel free to ask away. We went through the Adoption Options agency and they are a great resource for adoptive and birth families alike so anyone needing help for themselves, or if you know someone who needs it, I encourage you to contact them.
For my own story, the thought I keep coming back to is how full of love adoption is. Love has been by our sides through this whole journey. It started with the love I have for my husband and our desire to have a family. It was in the love that supported us through the pain of negative pregnancy tests, fertility troubles, long years of paperwork, interviews, and so much waiting. It was in the near blinding love I felt when I first laid eyes on my daughter (and every time since). It was in the beautiful, humbling love in Elora’s birth mother’s tears as her daughter was placed with us; full of pain for herself, knowing that despite that love, she didn’t feel she was able to give Elora the life she deserved, so she made the selfless choice. It is in the love behind the e-mails, videos, and the visit with Elora’s birth mother, as we continue to build our relationship.
I can never repay Elora’s birth family for the gift we were given but I can promise that I will spend every day for the rest of my life trying to be worthy of that gift and that Elora will always know how very much she is loved. Not only by her birth mother, her first mother, and her birth family, but by Jeff and I. By her grandparents, her aunts and uncles, other extended family, and friends.
It is a love that will only continue to grow. With every laugh, every snuggle, in every mid-night wake up, in every dream for the future. Each happy moment drives out the power of the painful ones from before the adoption, where waiting and wondering filled the days instead. Love shines the light that proves each of those painful memories was worth it because it got us here. Exactly here, with exactly her. Infertility is very hard, as I imagine an unplanned pregnancy is. But together, through adoption, love found a way